Ok, I do understand that my time is running down a bit. I worked my little but off yesterday and put in about 10 hours of applying for jobs online. Then I started working on my insurance test. Kinda ironic that my insurance is the insurance industry. So that was about 12 or 13 hours of straight work. Sometimes, doing all this stuff feels like it’s going down an endless black hole. Few people reply, and fewer still anything positive. An endless sea of dust, despair, and rejection notices. “You have a great portfolio, but we have found a candidate that better suits our needs. I wish you well in your continuing job search…..” And then the screams in my mind begin to percolate…..
So, what is a battered and bruised artist to do? When even a fifteen minute ukulele break doesn’t help, I go to bed. That’s right, get horizontal, take a nap. I do have reasons, and I hope it will not be seen as laziness. First of all, it helps me when I have been sitting all day, my eyes are red and bloodshot, and my back feels like someone loaded rocks on it. Secondly, you have to play to your strengths and weaknesses. I confess, I can be a little absent minded, a bit short term memory if I am not careful. That’s why I am the type of person that writes down notes, and is uber-organized. It’s also one of the reasons I like art. I can focus on a project, it gives me a something I cannot find other places. A serenity, a singular purpose. Perhaps it’s an adult thing. I could more easily focus when I was younger. Then again, when I was younger, I wasn’t trying to exercise, working (or looking for work), thinking about bills, getting groceries, trying to keep my wife from worrying herself to death, and studying for tests. Being grown up. What a drag.:-(
But in any event, a nap is sometimes what I need. I take my hour or two nap after working for 10 hours, and then I get up for 4-6 hours and slam out more work before I head to a nice 5-6 hour rest. It helps to reset my clock a bit, gives me some more energy, and also turns one of my weaknesses into a strength. I’m just absent minded enough to forget my problems long enough that I can start working on the project. Even better, a good night’s rest helps more! I get up in the morning and think “it’s a new day! Maybe time hasn’t run out after all!” Naive, yes. Stupid, probably. However, a bit of stupidity (people like to euphemistically call it “hope”) can carry us through the day. And the next, and so on. Until (it is hoped), that a succession of many days will carry us through to some form of success.