It is a very strange world, indeed. I am once again being moved continuously in a different direction that I would have expected a few months ago. I keep having to come to terms and have to face the music, at least temporarily. Despite my efforts at posting photography, advertising, and making some artwork, I am still coming up empty handed in making even a part time life in my art. As I have stated before, November is the month I need to I apply for “bread and butter” employment, now both in the art industry and out of it. Strangely, despite my lack of qualifications in other venues, I am receiving more interest from employers in areas that do not have art involved. This is counter-intuitive to me. I have spent much money, time, and effort trying to set up shop as a free-lance artist, as well as seeking a job with hundreds of resumes flooding the market for even the most menial of jobs in the field I have chosen. The jobs that I may have before me now in other fields may not be great paying jobs, but it is much better than anything I did have until now (which was temp jobs, or nothing). Also, one of the jobs may allow me to pursue other avenues, as it it evening shift. That way I can fairly easily deal with traffic, and conduct day-to-day meetings in both in my other vocations (insurance and art). I have been warned that some of these jobs may be rough. But I’m used to living in a meat grinder. I will take some solace that at least it will be a meat grinder in San Jose. And I can still pursue my other plans during the day.
I must strive to understand that the path to any kind of success has to start somewhere. I should, if all goes well, have somewhere to work in San Jose. My journey to whatever endgame I am traveling has become more than about strictly art. I t is a journey of how a person with an artistic mind will survive, and I hope thrive in a strange new setting.
I am now in a basic mode. I am circling the wagons, trying to prepare my defenses for the January onslaught. My only worry is now making sure that I move forward as quickly as possible into something more creative, and more interesting, and of course, better paying.
To anyone that reads this, take note. I am not giving up. I am about to enter another phase of adversity. I may submerge for a while into different roles to go where I want to get to. This means that my life may increasingly become about things that are not seen as art.
However, I still and always will choose to believe this – like most people who have a brain, and a heart, I have a talent, and a capacity for greatness. If I keep pursuing my dreams, my persistence will pay off. I will be able to remain constant and true to my core beliefs. I will hit the field everyday, every time. If I am pushed down, as long as I get back up again, someone will take notice that I still stand tall. I will be recognized in my pursuits, and in the end, it will work out. I choose to believe that if I live my live with openness, honesty and integrity that these traits will carry through in my life and dealings with others. Honesty is art, and living honestly and openly, pouring one’s heart into that day which we life and breath is the key to a creative life. Everything else is variations on a theme.