As I get older, I keep discovering, time and time again, there are no shortcuts to the top. Everything has to be earned, one step at a time. Luck isn’t luck, its more like being prepared and open to opportunities. The latest learning curve in IT has finally come to the point where I am contributing in a manner that is good. I can do my job, and do it fairly well. I come to the point now where I fork off. Do I want to be an incredible AV technician, or a good AV tech and begin the work that I came here to do, to forge a career in art.
The answer, though it pains me on some level is that I must pursue my art. I have found though that I must work on some other things at the same time. I must work on my base of my life. I am in short, focused on a pyramid scheme.
1 – Sleep – My sleep habits have been awful. Years of swing shifts, over-working, manic bouts of creativity, worrying about my job followed by mind-numbing apathy have destroyed my sleep, my REM cycle. It leaves me duller intellectually than I should be. It stops my drive and creates an apathy from being dull-minded. To this effect, I am now making myself go to sleep within 30 minutes of the same time every night. The results have been great, except when I veer off. I did so last weekend, but not as much.
I now am sketching more, and completing my tasks I have at hand, unless I am too much on the internet
2 – Basic body maintenance. I need to take care of myself. I have/had slipped into a dull apathy that includes lack of taking care of basic physical things. No, I’m not some crazy guy with 8 inch fingernails that hasn’t taken bath in weeks. But I can get more haircuts and shave a little more, stuff like that. In short, I was starting to not care as much. Results have been good. I actually am feeling more human and can carry myself with a bit more pride.
3 – More chores around the house. Making a list, and checking it twice. Instead of waiting for things to pile up, I am actually giving myself a few tasks a day to conquer. Results have been good in that I don’t feel like I am being crowded by bills. And my wife is starting to appreciate the extra help. I feel out of helping except on weekends when I was working 12+ hours a day. Now I only work 10 hours. (I know, I should cut back more….), so I have less of an excuse. This does make me feel more like an adult again instead of a vagrant worker.
4 – Diet – this has been going not great. But I tasked myself with just writing down what I eat. And truthfully, its very embarrassing. It consists mostly of sugar and high calories. I just got into the habit of wolfing everything down to sate hunger and move to the next project. Acceptable for 19 year old college students. Less so for middle aged adults. I have noticed I have started eating a bit better these last few days, just because the guilt of writing down all this stuff is disturbing.
5 – Exercise – barely. I’m working my way up this pyramid, I am just starting to exercise. But weighing myself, measurements, and getting tired standing or walking shows its pretty bad. I was once in great shape. Now I’m more like a 265lb egg with man boobs. My only grace is many years of exercise – I know how it works. And what I am doing ain’t it.
6 – My art – oh yeah, that. I have created a sketchbook, and try to do something in it many days, I have some pretty fun ideas, but very little time to execute still. I am still working on eliminating general apathy from sleep deprivation, a little bit of depression (though I won’t admit it from a victim stance, more a fact stance that I need to take care of myself). Some work is being done. I am for instance writing on this blog and am beginning to re-vamp my website and zazzle store.
7 – I have a list of sites to post to, including this one. I check them off one by one. This has just started.
8 – The pursuit of knowledge. I compiled a short reading list to get started
9 – Training – I still want to do some outside reading and training of my current profession. It’s a good job, and I don’t want to lose it because of stagnation. I have some more notes, and am looking into pursuing related hobbies like web casting and voice acting.
10. My music – study and play. I love to play and sing. I want to write my songs down and learn some more to break out of stagnation. I do play a fair amount, but I haven’t learned much at last.
11. A big key is stopping my use of the internet for the most part, unless I am looking for inspiration or to produce something. I have become a consumer in entirety, and that needs to change.
I will update a little on this every once in a while. But I want to make this site about art again, about the work, the philosophy and interesting things I learn along the way. But first thing is first. The base needs to be taken care of.